Choose Your Words, Carefully.

By Robert Walker Cohen

I once asked a master chef: “What’s your secret?”

She whispered: “The ingredients are half the battle.”

The same is true of writing. Half the battle is word choice.

Words do more than signify meaning. They convey connotations, aesthetics, affinities, rhythm, and cultural context.

This also applies to speaking. The written word, however, is more fixed, immutable, and self-conscious. It carries greater weight.

Here’s a mundane example —

“Free for dinner tonight?” vs. “Would you like to have dinner tonight?”

Both questions are identical. Person A writes Person B to ask to share a meal. Regardless, the subtle differences are significant.

“Free for dinner tonight?” is casual. It implies familiarity, friendliness, and takes for granted that the responder would be happy to go for dinner with the questioner if they had the time. The lack of 1st/2nd person pronouns — “I,” “You,” etc. — makes the request lower-stakes and, at face value, inconsequential if rejected.

“Would you like to have dinner tonight?” is respectful. The use of “would you like to” establishes the question as a polite request contingent on the desire of the responder. This implies either less familiarity than in the first case, or, at least, a conscientious personality on the part of the questioner.

When you next dash off a quick note to a boss or a coworker — pause, and consider your word choice.